Difficult Decisions
by Xalus
Summary: Have a look. As always I welcome any and all comments and critiques.


Moonlight streamed in through the open window as the curtains surrounding it moved in an easy dance with the breeze that flowed into the room. The only other light was that of a single candle that had been left burning on the bedside table. The candle's light gently illuminated the face of a young woman. Her thin form lay in the center of an enormous bed and she was covered in nothing more than a plain white sheet. She was beautiful. Her face held an innocent glow, even in sleep. Her long, straight hair spilled over her pillow and her hands were folded neatly over her breast.  
  
She was awakened around midnight by a blood-curdling scream. She sat bolt upright in bed, clutching the sheet to herself, her breath coming in short gasps. She stared into the blackness before her for a moment, her ears straining for any other sound. Then she realized, it was she who had screamed. She relaxed slightly and placed her forehead in her hands as she took several deep breaths to try and calm herself.  
  
A few moments later a soft knock came at the door and the muffled voice of an elderly woman came softly through the darkness,  
  
"M'lady, are you alright?"  
  
The young woman slipped out from between the sheets, grabbed a silk robe off the foot of the bed and pulled it on to cover her nude form. She tied the sash around her waist then walked over, unlocked the door and pulled it open just a crack. She smiled at the gray-haired housekeeper.  
  
"Yes Evlynn, I'm fine."  
  
Evlynn held her candle up to see the ladies face but her frown only deepened,  
  
"Shall I bring you up something Lady Gahlmara?"  
  
Gahlmara shook her head with a gentle smile,  
  
"No, no go on back to bed, I just had a bad dream, that's all."  
  
"You're sure it was a dream and not a vision Lady?"  
  
"You honestly think I don't know the difference by now Evlynn?"  
  
"I'm sorry Milady. I didn't mean to question you."  
  
Gahlmara's gentle smile returned,  
  
"It's alright Evlynn, no harm done. But go on now, go back to bed. You need your sleep."  
  
"Thank you M'lady."  
  
Evlynn bowed slightly then turned and shuffle back down the hallway. Gahlmara closed and locked her door then walked over and picked up the candle on the bed-side table. She turned and passed through a doorway, into her private study. She stood and gazed out the window at the indoor garden for a long while, admiring how the moonlight cascaded onto the water of the small pond that occupied one corner of the garden. Then she lit two more candles from the candle from her room and set them on the desk that dominated one corner of the room then she sat down behind it and held her head in her hands, trying to recall the vision she had seen.   
  
Very slowly the image of herself dressed in a beautiful wedding gown came to her. She opened a large leather-bound book that lay in front of her on the desk. She turned through a few pages that already had writing on them until she cam to one that only had a few lines of writing at the top. She flipped back the lid of her ink well and pulled a quill from the top drawer of her desk. She dipped the quill in the ink then poised as she chose her beginning words carefully.  
  
21 April  
  
A most disturbing vision. Myself dressed in a beautiful wedding gown with a long veil draped over my head. The dress itself was obscured. I knew it was beautiful but I cannot make out any details of it. I was in my father's throne room and I was walking down a red carpet towards a man I do not know. Yet even in the vision I could tell he was nothing more than a fop and too skinny to make a good king.  
  
She finished the small paragraph with her looping initials, signifying that she had finished her account on that vision. She closed the book and once again put her head in her hands. After a few moment Gahlmara rose to her feet and blew out two of the three candles then went back to bed.  
  
The next morning a large man burst through a pair of double doors, he was followed by half a dozen men in robes that nearly had to run to keep up the pace he set. One of the robed men who was holding a sheaf of parchment and a quill asked,  
  
"But My Lord Aradelion you always consult her before making a decision, why change that now?"  
  
"Because Infidel, I know what she will say. She will never accept this proposal, not even coming from me. I am her father and it is my right to make her decisions."  
  
"But Master, there is no telling what she will do."  
  
"That is why I'm increasing the guard around her at all times."  
  
The rounded a corner then stopped. Aradelion knocked on Gahlmara's door. She opened it a bit then stepped back and to allow her father to enter. The rest of his entourage stayed in the hallway. Gahlmara lead the way into her study to a small sitting area. They sat before a window that overlooked a private indoor garden.  
  
"So Father, to what do I owe the honor of this visit?"  
  
Aradelion sighed softly then turned to look at his daughter,  
  
"Mara, it has been some time since you've seen your twentieth summer and still you are not married. Therefore I have arranged one for you. I have entered into negotiations with Lord Faraké. You will marry his son Jacarid in a fortnight."  
  
He turned away to look out the window and to await her response. Gahlmara looked down at her hands in her lap. This confirmed the validity of her vision from the night before. She took quite a while before she looked up at her father,  
  
"Very well father, as you wish."  
  
Aradelion looked over at her, clearly surprised, then his eyes narrowed in suspicion,  
  
"You knew, didn't you? You knew even before I got here."  
  
Gahlmara nodded slowly,  
  
"Yes father. I had a vision last night."  
  
Aradelion simply nodded then stood up and left.  
  
Gahlmara waited until she heard the door close then she slumped over and put her head in her hands. She took a deep breath then set up and whispered   
  
"And so begins the masquerade."  
  
She had just walked back into her bedroom when there came a knock at her door. She turned as it opened and three maid servants entered accompanied by Evlynn. Evlynn smiled,  
  
"Good morning M'lady. I saw your father leaving, did you two have a nice visit?"  
  
"Not really Evlynn, he did most of the talking."  
  
"Oh really? Well I hope he had good news."  
  
"No, he informed be that he's making arrangements for my marriage."  
  
Evlynn dropped the blanket she was folding,  
  
"Oh my Lady! You must be happy though?"  
  
"No Evlynn, I'm not but it has to happen. There's no sense in fighting the future."  
  
"No, M'lady, I suppose there isn't. I'll call Mistress Verance, if it's alright with you, and have her come up for a fitting. You'll need a gown after all."  
  
Gahlmara nodded absently as she stared out the window. One of the maid servants opened the doors to her wardrobe and retrieves an emerald green gown with long bell sleeves and a low neckline. Gahlmara allows her robe to slip off her body. The other two servants joined the one with the dress and they pulled it over her. She smoothed the dress down a bit then walked over to a lone chair that was placed out a bit from the wall and one of the servants picked up a brush from the vanity and walked over. Gahlmara sat up a bit so she could pull it over the back of the chair. The servant girl began to brush her hair as the others and Evlynn hurried about cleaning up her room. Evlynn walked over to her wardrobe. She stooped down and opened a drawer in the bottom. She pulled out a silver circlet the resembled three vines twisted together. She pushed the drawer in and stood then walked over and gently slipped it down onto Gahlmara's head to hold her hair back.  
  
Gahlmara stood and walked over to the mirror that stood behind her vanity. She looked herself over then nodded and turned to look at Evlynn. Evlynn smiled and nodded her graying head slightly,  
  
"Beautiful M'lady. Are you going to sit in on your father's court today?"  
  
"Yes, I believe I will. Then I'll be going out this evening?"  
  
"Shall I make arrangements for an escort?"  
  
"No, just make sure the stable hand has my horse saddled after court."  
  
Evlynn looked nervous about this idea but she didn't question her mistress,  
  
"Yes M'lady. Is there anything else you'll be requiring?"  
  
"No, thank you Evlynn."  
  
Evlynn bowed then walked to the door and left after letting the three servant girls go before her. Gahlmara sat down at her vanity and eyed her reflection,  
  
"One day soon you will be Lady Gahlmara Faraké and your husband will never be man enough to take you." Her expression grew hard as she continued,  
  
"If I am to rule this country then I must know what it means to be a man. They are the only ones that are truly free to do as they wish."  
  
She stood and walked from her room. She held her head high as she walked the halls that lead to her father's throne room. She nodded to a few of the servants that passed. Two guards opened a pair of double doors that lead to the throne room and the noise inside the chamber grew quiet. She paused just a moment then started forward. Everyone either bowed or nodded to show their respect. Everyone accept one man who stood a head taller than the rest. His gaze was fixed on her almost as if he could not pull it away. She took a deep breath then walked toward her father while trying not to take notice of the man in the crowd. However, as she passed him she found her gaze straying, when her eyes met his he seemed to snap out of a trance and he bowed his head slightly.   
  
She turned back and looked at her father, who smiled slightly. She flashed him a beautiful smile as she settled into the chair to his left. She glanced back over the crowd and the   
  
man that had been watching her wore a look of pure shock. She smiled slightly then she realized that the herald had not announced her so of course he would not know who she was.   
  
"No matter." She thought as her father stood and announced that proceedings would commence.  
  
The sun was going down before court was over. The sunlight spilled through the large windows that made up almost the whole west side of the hall in shafts of light. It illuminated the room and seemed to make the marble pillars and floor glow. Lord Aradelion had announced that Gahlmara would be taking part in the proceedings rather than simply watching and she would be allowed to decide the outcome of several of the cases presented. She had imprisoned one man for murder then she sent two other's off with instructions to have the book keeper supply them with enough money to provide for their families until their crops could be harvested since the winter had been particularly hard. Once the court was over Lord Aradelion, his wife Lady Mikhaila, and Gahlmara went, as a family, to the great hall where dinner would be served.   
  
The table was laden with many different dishes along with platters of fruits, cheeses, and breads and several decanters of different wines. Lord Aradelion's retinue joined them and dinner began. Gahlmara sat in silence, speaking only if her father or mother spoke to her. Several of the younger officers tried to make polite conversation with her but she virtually ignored them. Since Evlynn had been Gahlmara's nurse maid before she was the head of the household staff, she always had a seat beside Gahlmara. Evlynn finally leaned over and said softly,  
  
"Are you ready to go up to your room M'lady?"  
  
Gahlmara nodded slightly as she put her napkin on the table beside her plate,  
  
"Yes, I believe I am Evlynn." Gahlmara stood and smiled to her father and mother, "If you both will excuse me I believe I will go up to my room. It has been a long day and I would like to rest for a bit and do a little reading."  
  
Lady Mikhaila smiled,  
  
"Of course my dear."  
  
Gahlmara bowed slightly then turned to leave but her mother stopped her,  
  
"Oh Mara, we enjoyed having you join us for court. Perhaps you will choose to do it again soon."  
  
Gahlmara turned back and forced a polite smile,  
  
"Thank you mother." She cast a fleeting glance at her father then continued, "If I am to soon be married I suppose it is time I took an interest in the goings on of the court."  
  
Gahlmara's parents exchanged glances but made no attempt to respond as Gahlmara turned on her heels and left the hall with Evlynn behind her.   
  
Once back in her room Gahlmara walked over to her wardrobe and opened its doors. Evlynn stood near by,  
  
"M'lady are you still planning on going out tonight?"  
  
"Yes Evlynn did you have the stable hands saddle my horse?"  
  
"Yes, M'lady. Can I help you find something?"  
  
"No, but can you put my hair up?"  
  
"Of course M'lady."  
  
Gahlmara pulled a dress out of the very back of her wardrobe. It had a low-cut neckline with long fitted sleeves that would come to a point on the back of her hands. It was made of black velvet but it had a deep purple satin mock bodice with lacing up the front. Evlynn helped Gahlmara slip her court dress off and put the black dress on in its place. Gahlmara moved in front of her mirror to survey herself as Evlynn fussed about smoothing out a wrinkle. Gahlmara turned and looked fondly at the older woman "It's fine Evlynn. The fabric is heavy enough that any wrinkles will soon be shed. Now would you fix my hair?"  
  
Gahlmara walked over and sat in the chair that was positioned a little way out from the wall. Evlynn gently lifted the circlet from around her head then she brushed Gahlmara's hair out again.  
  
"On second thought Evlynn, don't put it up, just leave it loose."  
  
"M'lady wouldn't you rather I at least tied it back with a bit of ribbon?"  
  
Gahlmara nodded,  
  
"That would be fine, if you'd like."  
  
Evlynn walked over to the vanity and retrieved a bit of ribbon from one of the drawers. She pulled Gahlmara's long hair into one bunch and tied it in the middle. Gahlmara stood and walked back over to her wardrobe and pulled out a black cloak. She threw the cloak around her shoulders and fastened it's clasp. She pulled the hood up and walked to the door. She placed her hand on the handle,  
  
"Evlynn, you have no idea what happened to me, you left me in my room reading a book. Right?"  
  
Evlynn's face blanched but she nodded,  
  
"Yes M'lady."  
  
Gahlmara nodded then opened her door and slips out of her room. She walked halfway down the hall then paused to make sure no one was around then she pushed on a panel in the wall and it opened and she slipped into a secret passage. It closed just as Evlynn emerged and closed the door. Gahlmara used this passage to slip out of the palace. She made her way past guards that obviously did not know who she was because they did not bow as she passed. She walked into the stable and pushed her hood back. The stable boy jumped up and, without bothering to tell her what he was doing, went and fetched her horse. She pulled her hood back, hiding her face, once again, in shadows as she waited. Soon he re-emerged, leading her horse. Her horse was a strong willed mare with a shining black coat. She smiled and the horse nickered when she saw Gahlmara.  
  
"Hey there Vix." Gahlmara said softly. She tossed the stable boy a coin from a pocket on the inside of her cloak and she mounted Vix and road out of the stable. She moved slowly through the streets while making her way towards the city wall. She road up to a tower that was built into the wall around the city. She dismounted and tied Vix's reins to a wooden post that she knew was magical. The post would let no one but the owner untie the reins and it would not allow them to be cut either. Gahlmara walked up to the door into the tower and pulled on a cord that was attached to a bell on the inside. She stepped back and glanced around, looking for any sign that she had been followed. She turned as   
  
the door opened and she surveyed the man standing before her. He was an elf dressed in a white robe with silver trim and a belt of shining silver around his waist. His long, gold hair hung loosely around his shoulders and his blue eyes resembled a clear summer sky. He stepped back and motioned for her to enter. He did not speak until the door was closed,  
  
"I have been expecting you Mara. To what do I owe this visit?"  
  
"Pherion, I want you to teach me magic."  
  
"Well come on up to my study and we can talk."  
  
Gahlmara followed him up to the second floor. Pherion opened the door and allowed her to enter before him, he walked over and offered Gahlmara a seat in an overstuffed armchair positioned before a dark fireplace. They sat and Gahlmara unhooked the clasp of her cloak and draped it over the back of the chair. Pherion cleared his throat and asked,  
  
"What made you decide to do this?"  
  
"This morning my father told me this morning that he had began negotiations with Lord Faraké and in a fortnight I will marry his son Jacarid. I had a vision last night that confirmed this and I saw Jacarid. He's nothing more than a fop. If my father's legacy is to continue then I must learn to rule but no one would take me seriously, since I am a woman. I want you to teach me how to alter my appearance. Show me how to appear as a man so that I might rule my people without contestation."  
  
Pherion listened intently as she spoke then watched her for several minutes following. She met him gaze for gaze until he finally spoke,  
  
"I think I understand why you want to do this Mara but, you have a fortnight in which to learn things that take many wizards years upon years to even begin to master. I know you can do it for you are obviously serious about it but there is just no way you can do this in as short a time as you've given me. And you do realize what your father's reaction will be when he finds out?"  
  
Mara eyed him for a minute then she smiled a slight, coy smile,  
  
"Well then we'll just have to make sure my father doesn't find out."  
  
"Mara, you know I cannot do that. I cannot lie to the king I serve."  
  
"I'm not asking you to lie to him. Just don't tell him anything."  
  
Pherion sighed heavily and leaned forward while placing his chin on top of his folded hands,  
  
"This is going against everything I've ever stood for, but I realize what is coming and for the good of the kingdom and the Aradelion family I will do as you ask. I will do all I can to speed the process as well."  
  
Mara smiled the stood and walked over to stand beside Pherion. She stooped down so that she was eye level to him then she kissed him gently on his pale cheek and whispered,  
  
"Thank you Pherion. You won't regret this."  
  
Pherion sat back and looked up at her as she stood and a small smile played around the corners of his eyes,  
  
"Ah child, if only you'd been born of my race. You have more grace than half my kind."  
  
Mara smiled at his complement. Pherion was not one to compare a human to an elf,  
  
"Thank you again. I will come see you again soon and we can begin."  
  
She turned and walked out the door and down the staircase. Pherion waved his hand absently to ward off the charms placed on the door just in time. Mara already had her hood up and she slipped out the door. After checking to make sure she hadn't been followed yet again she leapt up into the saddle on Vix's back and turned her back towards the palace. 


End file.
